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Monday, December 19, 2011

jesus@yahoo.com

This summer I started chatting. Why? Maybe boredom, maybe curiosity, but for whatever reason, it opened up a whole new world for me that I never knew existed.

Apparently, serious chatting is done on MSN and Yahoo. It's free and offers chatter bugs the options of visual and audio technology. I learned very quickly that the rules and physics of nature we take for granted in real life don’t apply in the chatting world. It is inhabited by beings invisible and anonymous, and the moral forces of gravity that keep our feet on the ground in real life don't always exist. More like a séance; you can't be sure if the spirits you conjure are good or evil, male or female, old or young, or even human.

A bit of advice to the new chatter bug: not all that glitters is gold. A 'mom' more often than not can be a pedophile, 'dad' is a dirty old man, and a 'sexy young woman' is probably a gay guy preying on straight men. Be very careful about giving any personal information to contacts, and photos of your kids are off limits.

The common belief is that anything goes in Yahoo land, but it turns out that there is a code of etiquette among chatterers. Texting in capitals is shouting – not nice. Large fonts are rude, and usually used by 'bots' – computer programs designed to lure the unsuspecting chatter to sites selling porn and infected with viruses. Chatting behavior is also regional: among North Americans and Europeans using the camera is only for people that know each other well, and an invitation to 'cam' can be misconstrued as making a pass, while Asians like to see who they are talking to.

Yahoo is a dark and lonely land of shadows, but there are redeeming rays of light for the tourist. I met a young girl who described herself as a 'sad girl'. Her mom's boyfriend was abusing her with mom's knowledge and without her protection. It was the boyfriend's birthday and the sad girl was distraught because he expected to get a 'birthday present' when he came home from work. I gave her (probably unwisely) my sister-in-law's phone number and stayed online with her until her teacher came to collect her. I asked her why she was in a chat room, of all places. She said her friends told her she needed to talk to an adult, and that she would find an adult in a chat room. I think her angel was very creative that day.

Some of the stories you hear touch the heart – sometimes literally. Rebecca is a young mother of Sara, who has a heart condition that could be simply treated with a pacemaker, but their medical insurance won't take responsibility for the expenses unless she literally drops dead. Rebecca doesn’t live every day by faith – she lives it minute by minute.

Laura is recently widowed and lives in the (still undefeated) Deep South raising her only son. She has enough courage and cheer to share with others while holding down a full time job.

Lilia lives in the Philippines. She is a born again Christian in a mostly Roman Catholic nation who raised two sons singlehandedly, and now like many Filipinos she has sent her oldest to work in the oil industry in the Middle East in order to make enough money to ensure his and their family's future. Last Friday night a typhoon hit her city. She woke in the night to the sound of a flashflood tearing through her neighborhood. The power went out all over the entire city, so she and her neighbors broke out to the rooftop and then spent the night in pitch darkness drenched by torrential rains and beaten by 90 knot winds until morning. She describes it as 'the end of the world'.

I chat almost exclusively with women, but with a handle like 'Ami', I get a lot of messages from men (called 'males' in Yahoo). I have yet to meet a man that is not interested in something I cannot and will not provide. The exception to this are Arabs. Once they find out that I am from Israel they are beside themselves with hatred. These are some of my favorite casual chats. Unable to tear me limb for limb in the safe Ethernet environment of Yahoo, Jihad online is very frustrating. I return smilies for swearwords, and eventually they realize the futility of their endeavors to evoke fear or anger, and hopefully I plant a seed of doubt in the bed of misconceptions they have been raised on.

Critics will tell you that Yahoo is ruled by the devil. Speaking as one who has been traveling there of late, I would say that they are absolutely right. Chatterers hiding behind their aliases expose the darkest sides of human nature. But may I remind you that Satan is the prince of the air in the world we live in offline no less than the internet, he is just more successful at maintaining his disguise.

And at this time of the year, when the Christian world is celebrating the advent of THE cosmic surfer maybe we should remember this: He came to dwell with human beings. They were sick and poor. They were wounded and broken. They were lonely. They were slaves to the same sin, lust and greed you find in Yahoo. They were called harlots and publicans; today we call them sluts and con men. And Jesus broke bread with them. He listened to their stories and told them His. He chatted with them.

I think that if Jesus would have come in our age, you'd find Him at Yahoo.

Sunset over the Sea of Galilee; the day is almost done and the way back home in sight.