Yes

"Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes is the answer to your question."
"What question?"
"Oh, Bill, come on. The question. The question you've been asking yourself with increasing regularity, at the odd moment, panting for breath when you sit up in bed late at night. The question that is in the back of your throat, choking the blood to your brain, ringing in your ears over and over as you put it to yourself."
"Oh. The question…….."
"Yes, Bill, the question."
"Am I going to die?"
"Yes."

From "Meet Joe Black"

Only Love

The head of the English department at the school where I teach made a curious choice for the required reading for the advanced level students.

The Color of Water by the black journalist James McBride. His mother, Ruth McBride Jordan was born Rachel Shilsky (actually Ruchel Dwara Zylska). Her father was a Rabbi that brought his family to America and made his living peddling religion and cheating the impoverished blacks in a backwater Southern town. Fleeing her abusive father, she escaped to New York and would have been vanished into the cesspool of drugs and prostitution had not she been rescued by a black man that eventually became her husband and a pastor of a church in Harlem.

I think one day I would like to write a blog about The Color of Water and about how unexpected was the choice of a Jewish woman's faith in Jesus as a message to Jewish students in an Israeli high school. But Ruth McBride came to my mind today for another reason.

A friend told me about how she came to know God only after meeting His people. At first she was drawn by their love, and then slowly and in the little things in life she began to feel God's love as well. If you hear her today, God is a real person in her life; her father. She talks to Him, pours her heart out to Him and sometimes gets mad at Him. There's real love there, and it started with the love of the people that are today her brothers and sisters.

I read not long ago this:
"I've also learned that nobody - ever - not ever one time - was argued into faith. Faith isn't ever a matter of argument. It's a matter of choice and obedience and will - stuff much sturdier in the end than mere "reasons" or just being "right" about things. Humans can't live on reasons alone.It's charity first. Take your limited understanding, feeble strength, and puny needs for validation off of it, and just be nice. That's really what it more often boils down to." (Stephanie)

It's charity, love. We can't know God through religion, we know Him through love. And we we'll never be able to explain the God we know to others with words, only with love. I think that was what I was trying to say to my daughter Maayan in "Sons or Servants"; that it's not the things we do, the religion, but the relationship itself, love, that God wants with us.

Ruth McBride grew up in a house full of religion. It was rules and laws, but also a house of abuse and selfishness. She ran away to people dissimilar in every way to herself and those she left behind, and found a home, a place where God dwells. And she found that place through love.

You Name It

I recently learned from Xiu that Chinese names have meaning. Her full name Yi Xiu means "happy" and "pretty" in Chinese, and if you visit her January Winds you will see that her name is worthy of the girl, or rather the girl is more than worthy of her name.

English speakers may find the idea of names having meaning strange. I think most Anglos get their names because they sound nice or dignified. Lately a lot of Americans name their kids with surnames as first names, like little boys being named "Bailey" and little girls being named "Linsey" and somewhere there is a poor little boy being picked on during recess called "Sassasportshvilli". (That's the longest and strangest name I've ever run into.) But really, English names don't mean anything.

All Hebrew names have meaning. When I came to Israel, one of the first things I did was to change my name. I chose Ami, "my people" (hence the name of this blog), because I wanted to express my identification with my new nation.

My wife is Yael. That is a kind of mountain goat, which at first may seem not very complimentary, but if you have ever seen one of the gentle and graceful creatures that inhabit the Judean desert you will see that the name fits her.

I chose my oldest daughter's name like an American. The name sounded nice. Maayan means a water spring or fountain. She volunteered for a year in a home for abandoned children after high school and even in the army her job was to care for other soldiers with personal problems. Now she is studying to be a social worker in
Jerusalem. She is like a mountain spring; bubbling with life, sustaining others without depleting herself. I guess I named her well after all.

After Maayan was born, there was a long barren period in our family. Eventually Yael and I believed that we wouldn't be having any more children. But just then we were blessed with the first of our miracle children. I told Yael that we have to show our gratitude to the Giver of such a gift, and we named our son Netanel (Nathaniel), which is "God gave" in Hebrew. Our second miracle was equally unexpected three years later. We called her Odelia, "I will thank the Lord". Every time we say their names it is praise, thanks to the giver of all blessings.


I've heard of families with a sick baby that changed the name to Rafael, which means "God will heal", and their son revived. (I don't know what you could call a girl.) Sometimes they add "Chai" (life) to a name. The name Tom (which means innocence and is pronounced "Tome") has the same letters as the word for death, so people change the spelling to ward off the grim reaper.

The ancient Romans had a saying, "nomen es omen" – the name is a sign. Maybe it's true. I have to admit that the names of people I know fit them.

But you can't take it too far. Once people believed that if a name that was too good it would invite bad luck. They would name their kids with negative meanings to ward off the evil eye. I wouldn't worry too much if you have a name like that, but if any of you go by the name Caleb, just so you know, the name means "dog".

You'll See

Dear Maayan,

Don't worry.
I'll take care of it.
You can trust me.
You'll see.

I am,
I am here.
I am here for you,
And have been all along.

I love you.
I know you, I created you.
I know you're hurting right now,
but you'll be okay.

Wait just a little longer.
I didn't forget.
I'll take care of you.
You'll see.

Love,
God

SHMILY

"And when it is done,
appreciate, smile, and understand
it is the person's way of 'SHMILY'-
See How Much I Love You.

When I grow old,
I want to share this house with my husband,
and bake little cakes/ cookies for him,
and put a post-it on the items saying,
'SHMILY'.

And God probably pasted
a million over post-it of
'SHMILY'
everywhere everyday for me."

From "Small Things That Count" by Xiu

For a breath of fresh air, open a window and check out 'January Winds'.