On Photos and Phonies

I ran in to Boaz the other day. He said he was just back from Thailand. Boaz is at least sixty years old and retired. I expressed my surprise that someone his age would be trekking. "I wasn't trekking." He grinned sheepishly and pulled a small album out of a pouch. I should have known. I didn't need more than one look to see that it was full of trophies; pictures of him in a cheap hotel room with whores, no, slaves in Thailand's notorious sex industry.

I can't say that I was surprised. Boaz used to own the only photo shop around. He had been a swinger in the 60's and 70's and didn't have any regrets, except perhaps that the party was over. The women he employed were typically half his age and divorced. There was an unwritten understanding, or maybe written for all I know, that part of the job description was sleeping with the boss. He was quite open about it. This way he got to exploit his employees economically and sexually (his words, not mine).

Some people judge Boaz, a lot of people don't. I suppose the one's that don't think that if they wink at Boaz's vices somehow they can get away with their own. Of course they are only fooling themselves only a little less than those who do judge, but at least they're not hypocrites.

One thing you can say about Boaz, he's no phony. Boaz lives for Boaz, and makes no bones about it. All you can ask of someone is that he live by his own code, right? And if we're honest about it, we all live for ourselves; maybe Boaz is just more candid than most.

Mankind can be divided into two camps; true believers in the cult of self; and hypocrites. Selfishness has true believers like Boaz and prophets like Hitler and Saadam Hussein - there's no virtue in being true to yourself. But if I'm not as obnoxious as Boaz, it is only that I have learned to be more socially acceptable in my selfish pursuits. Like the "true believers", I also seek to gratify myself, and the only difference between me and Benny is that usually my gratification is more positive or useful to society. I perceive good and bad according to benefits achieved.

God has another measuring stick. My "good deeds" are in his eyes are as filthy rags. As far as he's concerned, you're either with him or you're not; and anything I do for myself (which is everything), no matter how "good" it is, makes me a Boaz.

It's easy to judge. Some people believe that it is their right and even their duty to judge those that cross this or that moral red line, but in doing so they imply that they are somehow better than those they judge.

And they're not.

When Jesus rebuked hypocrites for condemning sinners, he never said he condoned sin. He didn't. He never said that sinners wouldn't be judged. They will. He merely pointed out that you can't pull a sliver out of someone's eye when you have a 2x4 stuck in your own; only he who is without sin can throw the first stone.

So I don't judge Boaz. It's not my job. I hate what he does and I wish there were laws that would protect women and punish dirty old men. Who knows, maybe there are.

But for me Boaz is like one of those photo portraits he had hanging in his shop. He had the photographer's knack for catching the real person in people on film. When I look at Boaz, I see how I must look in God's eyes. And it's not pretty.

When I look at Boaz, I see me.